Forgiveness: An Act of Love
There really is no true love without forgiveness. After all, the ultimate love was shown to all mankind in the forgiveness of sins, by death at Calvary. We see, very clearly, the role of the Forgiver as He grants forgiveness to sinners and those of us (all of us) in need of repentance. As we come to Him in repentance with hearts filled with contrition, seeking and asking for forgiveness, He freely grants it. It is His desire to give us the keys to the Kingdom.
Our human relationships resemble (or at least they should), the divine model. Not only the Forgiver, but the seeker. Our tendency is to focus all of the responsibility on the forgiver--the person who has been wronged. We place this great burden on one party to forgive, but not much is required of the person who committed the sin/fault. That is so opposite of Jesus' teaching.
In Luke 17, Jesus teaches on forgiveness: "And
Yeshua said to his disciples, 'It is not possible that offenses shall
not come, but woe to him by whose hand they shall come. It
were better for him if the millstone of a donkey were hung on his neck
and he were cast into the sea than that he would stumble one of these
little ones. Guard your souls. If your brother should sin, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day and seven times in the day returns to you and says, 'I am sorry', forgive him.'
And The Apostles said to Our Lord, 'Increase our faith.' He said to them, 'If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you may say to this sycamore tree, 'Be uprooted and be planted in the sea', and it would obey you.'"
In Matthew 5, Jesus teaches how we must approach Him when we have caused a breach in a relationship with a brother or sister. "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." [Leave there thy gift before the altar,.... This might easily be done, and the business soon dispatched, at some seasons; particularly, at their public feasts, as the passover, pentecost, and feast of tabernacles, when all the Israelites were together:
and go thy way; make what haste thou canst,
first be reconciled to thy brother: use all means to reconcile him; acknowledge the offence; ask his pardon; assure him that thou wishest well to him, and not ill;
and then come and offer thy gift, by putting it on the altar, before which it was left. This shows, that acts of love and friendship are preferable to sacrifices; and that sacrifices offered up in wrath, and whilst unreconciled to others, are unacceptable to God, and of no avail: and so much the Jews themselves seem to acknowledge; when they say (e):
"that transgressions, which are between a man and God, the day of atonement expiates; the transgressions which are between a man and his neighbour, the day of atonement does not expiate, , "until he hath reconciled his neighbour."''
Which is enlarged upon, and explained by Maimonides (f), after this manner:
"the day of atonement does not expiate any transgressions, but those that are between a man and God, as when one eats anything that is forbidden, and lies with anything that is forbidden, or the like; but transgressions which are between a man and his neighbour, as he that hurts his neighbour, or curses his neighbour, or steals from him, and the like, are never forgiven, until he has given his neighbour what he owed him, and has "reconciled" him; yea, though he has returned to him the money he owed him, he ought to "reconcile" him, and desire him to forgive him; yea, even though "he has only provoked him by words", (which is the very case in the text before us,) , "he ought to reconcile him", and to meet him until he forgives him: if his neighbour will not forgive, he must bring with him three of his friends, and meet him, and entreat him; and if he will not be reconciled by them, he must bring them a second, and a third time.''
So that he was to use all means to obtain a reconciliation.
(e) Misn. Yoma, c. 8. sect. 9. (f) Hilchot Teshuba, c. 2. sect. 9. Vid. T. Bab. Yoma, fol. 87. 1. Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible]
Forgiveness has two very distinct sides. The debt of responsibility in forgiveness does not belong solely to the forgiver but to the one in need of forgiveness. When one needs forgiveness, it is of utmost importance to ask for it; it is an act of contrition, setting aside pride. It shows the person offended, that there is an awareness that harm was done. That simple acknowledgement and laying aside pride goes far in healing and repairing not only the relationship, but the hurt experienced by offended person. Sincere, heartfelt apologies seem to come hard to so many, today. Perhaps, because true repentance is lacking. That is perhaps why the disciples exclaimed at the end of Jesus' discourse in Luke 17, "Lord, Increase our faith." Our hearts must come to a place of repentance--changed from hearts of stone to fleshy hearts that will acknowledge our sins and faults against others, so that we are moved to change the behavior and ASK for forgiveness for the sin against them. It is sin to "sweep it under the [proverbial] rug". Moreover, it goes against the grain of love.
Love seeks healing and reconciliation, even at the expense of one's own pride.
Our human relationships resemble (or at least they should), the divine model. Not only the Forgiver, but the seeker. Our tendency is to focus all of the responsibility on the forgiver--the person who has been wronged. We place this great burden on one party to forgive, but not much is required of the person who committed the sin/fault. That is so opposite of Jesus' teaching.
And The Apostles said to Our Lord, 'Increase our faith.' He said to them, 'If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you may say to this sycamore tree, 'Be uprooted and be planted in the sea', and it would obey you.'"
In Matthew 5, Jesus teaches how we must approach Him when we have caused a breach in a relationship with a brother or sister. "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." [Leave there thy gift before the altar,.... This might easily be done, and the business soon dispatched, at some seasons; particularly, at their public feasts, as the passover, pentecost, and feast of tabernacles, when all the Israelites were together:
and go thy way; make what haste thou canst,
first be reconciled to thy brother: use all means to reconcile him; acknowledge the offence; ask his pardon; assure him that thou wishest well to him, and not ill;
and then come and offer thy gift, by putting it on the altar, before which it was left. This shows, that acts of love and friendship are preferable to sacrifices; and that sacrifices offered up in wrath, and whilst unreconciled to others, are unacceptable to God, and of no avail: and so much the Jews themselves seem to acknowledge; when they say (e):
"that transgressions, which are between a man and God, the day of atonement expiates; the transgressions which are between a man and his neighbour, the day of atonement does not expiate, , "until he hath reconciled his neighbour."''
Which is enlarged upon, and explained by Maimonides (f), after this manner:
"the day of atonement does not expiate any transgressions, but those that are between a man and God, as when one eats anything that is forbidden, and lies with anything that is forbidden, or the like; but transgressions which are between a man and his neighbour, as he that hurts his neighbour, or curses his neighbour, or steals from him, and the like, are never forgiven, until he has given his neighbour what he owed him, and has "reconciled" him; yea, though he has returned to him the money he owed him, he ought to "reconcile" him, and desire him to forgive him; yea, even though "he has only provoked him by words", (which is the very case in the text before us,) , "he ought to reconcile him", and to meet him until he forgives him: if his neighbour will not forgive, he must bring with him three of his friends, and meet him, and entreat him; and if he will not be reconciled by them, he must bring them a second, and a third time.''
So that he was to use all means to obtain a reconciliation.
(e) Misn. Yoma, c. 8. sect. 9. (f) Hilchot Teshuba, c. 2. sect. 9. Vid. T. Bab. Yoma, fol. 87. 1. Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible]
Forgiveness has two very distinct sides. The debt of responsibility in forgiveness does not belong solely to the forgiver but to the one in need of forgiveness. When one needs forgiveness, it is of utmost importance to ask for it; it is an act of contrition, setting aside pride. It shows the person offended, that there is an awareness that harm was done. That simple acknowledgement and laying aside pride goes far in healing and repairing not only the relationship, but the hurt experienced by offended person. Sincere, heartfelt apologies seem to come hard to so many, today. Perhaps, because true repentance is lacking. That is perhaps why the disciples exclaimed at the end of Jesus' discourse in Luke 17, "Lord, Increase our faith." Our hearts must come to a place of repentance--changed from hearts of stone to fleshy hearts that will acknowledge our sins and faults against others, so that we are moved to change the behavior and ASK for forgiveness for the sin against them. It is sin to "sweep it under the [proverbial] rug". Moreover, it goes against the grain of love.
Love seeks healing and reconciliation, even at the expense of one's own pride.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails." [1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV]
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