Rebekah, Bad Parenting:101
"Now Rebekah was listening when Isaac spoke to his son Esau. So when Esau went to the field to hunt for game and bring it, Rebekah said to her son Jacob, 'I heard your father speak to your brother Esau, ‘Bring me game and prepare for me delicious food, that I may eat it and bless you before the Lord before I die.’ Now therefore, my son, obey my voice as I command you. Go
to the flock and bring me two good young goats, so that I may prepare
from them delicious food for your father, such as he loves. And you shall bring it to your father to eat, so that he may bless you before he dies.' But Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, 'Behold, my brother Esau is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man. Perhaps my father will feel me, and I shall seem to be mocking him and bring a curse upon myself and not a blessing.' His mother said to him, 'Let your curse be on me, my son; only obey my voice, and go, bring them to me.'" [Genesis 27: 5-13, ESV]
And we call Jacob a "supplanter" and a deceiver. He learned it from the best--actually, he came from generations of liars, if we believe what the Bible says about the actions of both Abraham and Isaac with their wives; since they deceived others in an attempt to save their own skin. So, Jacob didn't have the perfect parenting examples of integrity and honesty before him, did he? It's funny--God chose these people to carry the bloodline of the Savior of the world--naturally-speaking. He chose flawed, sinful people just like us--even lousy parents. Why? To give us a hope. It doesn't have to end this way--whatever mistakes we made--or have yet to make, we can still have a future filled with promise if we are willing to repent and submit ourselves to the will of God. You see, some people grow and learn from their mistakes--others just build on their sin, until the proverbial "snowball" becomes a boulder. We miss out on a lot when we attempt to cover up, rather than make amends for our wickedness.
We have a lot of kids who mess up royally in our society--but we have just as many parents who do, too. We forget those verses that admonish parents, "Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.]" [Colossians 3:21, AMP] Ephesians 6:4 says something very similar. Parents, even Christian parents feel as if they have ownership of children--but they belong to God; and must be handled as God's precious and priceless possessions. It isn't okay to manipulate, and use psychological maneuvering on children to form them into your perfect will; the job of parents is to mold them and instruct them to learn of God, so they can seek His will for their lives and learn how to live as independent adults someday. So many marriages crumble because of meddling parents. Many sibling relationships suffer because because of parental interference. Even some parental/child relationships fail because one parent doesn't understand the role, necessity and purpose of each parent in the lives of their children. And strife happens when we don't stay in our own lane, directed by God, following His Word, and walking with integrity (truth and wholeness).
That's what happened to Rebekah. She became manipulative. It wasn't as if she didn't know the plan of God--while she was laboring, Gold told her what would come to pass. It would be hard to forget such a moment. Still, for Rebekah, that simply wasn't enough--Jacob was her baby, her heart. Yes, parents have favorites. I'm not sure that's really a bad thing--since personalities are different and some fit together better than others. The problem comes when we mistreat other children and give preferential treatment. I think it's generally not true when parents say, "I love all of my children the same". They are all individuals with differences in personalities and behavior--the way you love them should be unique to them, I think. They are all special in their own way. Rebekah wasn't necessarily loving her sons uniquely--she was being controlling and devious.
Rebekah is a Hebrew name רִבְקָה (Rivqah), possibly meaning "a snare" in Hebrew, or perhaps derived from an Aramaic name. That fits.
Rebekah's plan became Jacob and Esau's pain (Isaac's and Rebekah's, too, once Jacob had to flee). When parents don't understand boundaries (particularly with their adult children) it can create a whole array of problems in the lives of their children (and their family's, too). I'm sure Rebekah's interference led to some regret of her own--even though Jacob, her favored son ended up with the blessing and the birthright, her tactics caused him to be estranged from her--and caused strife in their home. Imagine if Rebekah had simply prayed and trusted the God of Abraham and Isaac? All that was necessary for Rebekah to do) was to be patient and see God's plan unfold. We make a mess of things--relationships, and destroy the trust of others when we usurp God's authority and "fix" things that He did not direct us to. If only we could learn to move when God says move--and conversely, learn to be still even though we (think we) "know" a way we might be able to make it happen.
Some might say, I have no right to talk about bad parenting--or great parenting, since I only spent a few short months as a mom. Maybe that's true. I did however, have a great example of a godly mother who knew how to parent--even adult children; who understood boundaries, and gained our utmost respect as well as her son-in-law's, by the way she lived, spoke and taught us. Besides that, I have seen so much of good and bad--I can pretty quickly discern the difference. The proof is often in the "pudding".
And we call Jacob a "supplanter" and a deceiver. He learned it from the best--actually, he came from generations of liars, if we believe what the Bible says about the actions of both Abraham and Isaac with their wives; since they deceived others in an attempt to save their own skin. So, Jacob didn't have the perfect parenting examples of integrity and honesty before him, did he? It's funny--God chose these people to carry the bloodline of the Savior of the world--naturally-speaking. He chose flawed, sinful people just like us--even lousy parents. Why? To give us a hope. It doesn't have to end this way--whatever mistakes we made--or have yet to make, we can still have a future filled with promise if we are willing to repent and submit ourselves to the will of God. You see, some people grow and learn from their mistakes--others just build on their sin, until the proverbial "snowball" becomes a boulder. We miss out on a lot when we attempt to cover up, rather than make amends for our wickedness.
We have a lot of kids who mess up royally in our society--but we have just as many parents who do, too. We forget those verses that admonish parents, "Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.]" [Colossians 3:21, AMP] Ephesians 6:4 says something very similar. Parents, even Christian parents feel as if they have ownership of children--but they belong to God; and must be handled as God's precious and priceless possessions. It isn't okay to manipulate, and use psychological maneuvering on children to form them into your perfect will; the job of parents is to mold them and instruct them to learn of God, so they can seek His will for their lives and learn how to live as independent adults someday. So many marriages crumble because of meddling parents. Many sibling relationships suffer because because of parental interference. Even some parental/child relationships fail because one parent doesn't understand the role, necessity and purpose of each parent in the lives of their children. And strife happens when we don't stay in our own lane, directed by God, following His Word, and walking with integrity (truth and wholeness).
That's what happened to Rebekah. She became manipulative. It wasn't as if she didn't know the plan of God--while she was laboring, Gold told her what would come to pass. It would be hard to forget such a moment. Still, for Rebekah, that simply wasn't enough--Jacob was her baby, her heart. Yes, parents have favorites. I'm not sure that's really a bad thing--since personalities are different and some fit together better than others. The problem comes when we mistreat other children and give preferential treatment. I think it's generally not true when parents say, "I love all of my children the same". They are all individuals with differences in personalities and behavior--the way you love them should be unique to them, I think. They are all special in their own way. Rebekah wasn't necessarily loving her sons uniquely--she was being controlling and devious.
Rebekah is a Hebrew name רִבְקָה (Rivqah), possibly meaning "a snare" in Hebrew, or perhaps derived from an Aramaic name. That fits.
Rebekah's plan became Jacob and Esau's pain (Isaac's and Rebekah's, too, once Jacob had to flee). When parents don't understand boundaries (particularly with their adult children) it can create a whole array of problems in the lives of their children (and their family's, too). I'm sure Rebekah's interference led to some regret of her own--even though Jacob, her favored son ended up with the blessing and the birthright, her tactics caused him to be estranged from her--and caused strife in their home. Imagine if Rebekah had simply prayed and trusted the God of Abraham and Isaac? All that was necessary for Rebekah to do) was to be patient and see God's plan unfold. We make a mess of things--relationships, and destroy the trust of others when we usurp God's authority and "fix" things that He did not direct us to. If only we could learn to move when God says move--and conversely, learn to be still even though we (think we) "know" a way we might be able to make it happen.
Some might say, I have no right to talk about bad parenting--or great parenting, since I only spent a few short months as a mom. Maybe that's true. I did however, have a great example of a godly mother who knew how to parent--even adult children; who understood boundaries, and gained our utmost respect as well as her son-in-law's, by the way she lived, spoke and taught us. Besides that, I have seen so much of good and bad--I can pretty quickly discern the difference. The proof is often in the "pudding".
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