WHEN GOD SAYS, “NO”

“And to keep me from being puffed up and too much elated by the exceeding greatness (preeminence) of these revelations, there was given me a thorn (a splinter) in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to rack and buffet and harass me, to keep me from being excessively exalted.

Three times I called upon the Lord and besought [Him] about this and begged that it might depart from me;

But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!”      [2 Corinthians 12:7-9]

What do we do when God says, “No”? That isn’t a popular thing to discuss in this day of “Name It and Claim It!” Still, it is a reality that God does say “No”, sometimes. No one wants to preach, teach or discuss it, but He does indeed, say, “No”. The closest many of us come to this is: “He may not come when you want Him, but He’s always right on time!”

God has not always responded to my desires in the affirmative—and, I’m glad. God’s “no’s” have so much purpose, and they reveal our spiritual character—having your will done every time will not create a mature and enduring child of God. He knows this so He allows the “messenger of satan” to attack us (see Genesis 37:3-45:5, 50:20). While sin, sickness, disease and trouble come from the very pit of Hell, God uses it to mold, make and grow us up into showpieces that will manifest HIS glory in the earth. Yes, He lets us get splintered, even being “troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed”, for His glory and our growth in Him (1 Corinthians 4:8).  Yes, God’s Word says, “Who shall ever separate us from Christ’s love? Shall suffering and affliction and tribulation? Or calamity and distress? Or persecution or hunger or destitution or peril or sword?  Even as it is written, For Thy sake we are put to death all the day long; we are regarded and counted as sheep for the slaughter.  Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us.”  [Romans 8:35-37]

 I think back to the first time in my life that I besought the Lord and begged for something important—and His answer was “no”. I was in my early twenties and my maternal grandmother—a woman who loved God with all of her being in spite of difficulties and trials, became stricken with ovarian cancer. I begged God for her life and was convinced that she would live and become well, because she was much more than my grandmother; Arizona Smith was my friend, too; a great friend. She loved me and cared for me—as she did her other grandchildren, but (according to them) my relationship with her was different. I loved to spend time with my grandmother even as a teenager and young adult. Many days, we sat and talked like girlfriends, while she straightened my hair—because no one could press hair like her, or while I rolled hair her in curlers, sharing and laughing; enjoying the company of one another. My grandparents lived just a few blocks from our home, so her home was my refuge from every trouble that came—I would run to my grandmother, and find comfort. I guess it was time for me to grow up. When my grandmother died in January of 1983, I was devastated, and my faith was destroyed. I had “baby” faith; it was good as long as things didn’t go too awry, and the trouble didn’t touch those I loved. Those two years following her death, I was an angry and very bitter young woman. I went to church, but there was no real joy or worship present in my life. In 1985, finally, I learned to look to God to be my Comforter and He restored my joy and fellowship, but I hadn’t grown enough, yet.

Ten years later, in February 1993 I was to experience the loss of my mother—my best friend in the world. This time was very different, though. Early in 1991, in prayer, the Lord pressed upon my spirit that I was to experience another profound loss to prepare me. In February of 1992, my mother after spending months being treated for pneumonia, and lingering colds, shared with me that she had been diagnosed with lung cancer. For a moment—only a moment, I was crushed and grieved greatly for a couple of days; because I knew that time was coming and I dreaded the loss—feeling as if it was more than I could ever bear, and survive. I hadn’t forgotten my experience 10 years prior, and it seemed as if satan was mocking me with thoughts of my destruction with the death of my mother. I found strength in the power of God to sustain me, and to comfort me. I spent as much time as I possibly could with my mother during her treatment, taking time off from work to attend every chemotherapy session with her.

The end of that year, when she underwent radiation therapy, she began to push me into spending more time with friends, and told me that she didn’t want me to go to treatment with her. I complied, not really willingly; wherever I was, and whatever I was doing, my heart and mind were with her. As her illness began to overtake her physical body, in January of 1993, I took a leave of absence from work and stayed with my mother to care for her, and spend her last days with her. Even in this environment we shared some very special and priceless moments. In that time, I was able to release my mom, and she went home to be with Jesus February 18, 1993. I can still remember that moment vividly. My family—sisters and father (along with my pastor and his wife) stood around her bed cheering her over to the other side. You see for weeks, my mother had been having visions of the saints in Heaven, and often after she slept she would awaken disappointed that she was still clothed in this earthly body. She would exclaim, “Where is my Jesus??? And, why is He taking so long??!!!” When my mom, Hazel Crooms, took her last breath, immediately I felt the release and knew she was no longer with us—her body was just a shell, but she was profoundly not present (for me). I felt kind of like David, I suppose when his child died—it was time to get back to the business of living.

However, I wasn’t prepared for everything that followed her death—while I fully accepted it and grieved the loss, it seemed that the grief process became a catalyst for things that I thought I had processed and forgiven. The pain of having been molested by two different individuals came flooding back, and it overwhelmed me. Depression that I experienced as a little girl—yet, not having a label for it; came flooding back, while everyone around me thought that I was depressed because my mother was gone. I can remember my sister asking me if I was sad “because Mommy was gone”. It was a heavy burden and one that I didn’t want to face—I wanted it to stay buried, but it refused. At 30 years old, I found myself undergoing psychiatric treatment—and that in itself was devastating. But, here’s the golden lining—which each hospitalization, God got my attention. I began to write and to listen to His voice—it was in this dark environment that I really came to know Jesus intimately, and for the next (approximately) 15 years, depression consumed, what seemed to me (and those around me) every aspect of my life. I was no longer able to work, becoming permanently disabled—and I didn’t understand. I, too, besought God and begged Him to release me from that bondage; when He didn’t, I attempted to take my life more than once. But God! He didn’t allow me to die, but used that horrific period as a positive catalyst—literally, what satan meant for evil, God used for my good! I grew up, in Him.

Many of the ideas and assumptions that I held fast to, God instructed me through study of His Word were not necessarily as they appeared at face value. I had been a dogmatic, angry, unmerciful “Christian”, not allowing for “excuses” or faults in the lives of others, and assuming that’s what it meant to be holy—but it was self-righteousness. God began to transform me by the renewing of my heart (mind=nous, Greek which means more than my mind, but my heart, the deepest part of me) as I began to dig deeper in His Word. It wasn’t easy, though. Those around me didn’t understand—but I didn’t understand this path, either. Only after many years, could I see the purpose for the pain. Nothing the child of God experiences is for naught.  Ministry was birthed in me, in the hardest years of my life, and I now had something to minister—I could share with others more than words and repetition of memorized scriptures. I knew from experience the power of God to sustain and renew in me something greater than I could ever imagine. It’s almost amusing as I look back—all that I ever wanted was an education, a husband and five children, and to go to church. His plan was far beyond my own and to the natural mind, downright nonsensical. I now recognize that if I had been given the things that I desired and never suffered the mental illness that I had, I wouldn’t know God the way I know Him, today. I wouldn’t have any of the spiritual gifting that He has given me (or know how to use it properly, with love and mercy), or be able to minister to anyone else—because I was consumed with self, and had what I thought to be God all wrapped up in a little box, certain that I knew Him, in His fullness. I’m so glad that He said, “No”. His “no” is the reason that I am able to encourage, exhort, teach and minister to others, today.

Yes, bad things do happen to God’s children, absolutely! But, I can promise you that there is always purpose in those things, and we never go through them alone.  In the midst of suffering is where we can see His power most vividly. It isn’t on the mountaintop when everything goes according to our will and plan that we really witness His glory. Great faith isn’t born in ease, but in trouble. When God spoke to me about this topic of discussion (When God Says, “No!”) I had no idea that it would be personal, I thought I was going to write the theology of God’s “No’s”, but I suppose that someone needs to know that when God says, “you can’t have it”, or “I won’t do it” or He is simply silent, there is a purpose, and if He said “no” He will supply you with His strength to overcome your weakness. The weaker we are and the more dependent we are on Him, the greater His strength can be activated in us.  That’s what Paul meant. It doesn’t matter what your thorn is—I’m sure that’s why Paul didn’t tell us what his thorn was, so that we could know that all of our thorns, whatever they are, have not come to destroy us, but to make us more like Jesus (that’s the fellowship of His suffering, activated in us).  Yes, I was cast down or as the Amplified Bible declares it, “struck down to the ground, but never struck out and destroyed”. And, you too, have purpose and ministry in you—it will not destroy you! Your destiny is a great one, but the path and process necessary to reach that destiny is often treacherous and death-defying. But, “This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.”

Use your faith for the great spiritual things of God, don’t abuse it for temporal, earthly gain—He has so much more for us!

Grace always,

Lisa

“However, we possess this precious treasure [the divine Light of the Gospel] in [frail, human] vessels of earth, that the grandeur and exceeding greatness of the power may be shown to be from God and not from ourselves.

We are hedged in (pressed) on every side [troubled and oppressed in every way], but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair;

We are pursued (persecuted and hard driven), but not deserted [to stand alone]; we are struck down to the ground, but never struck out and destroyed;

 Always carrying about in the body the liability and exposure to the same putting to death that the Lord Jesus suffered, so that the [resurrection] life of Jesus also may be shown forth by and in our bodies.

 For we who live are constantly [experiencing] being handed over to death for Jesus’ sake, that the [resurrection] life of Jesus also may be evidenced through our flesh which is liable to death.”