When you KNOW God, and see Him in all of His splendor, you quickly become aware of yourself and recognize (like Isaiah) "Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts." [Isaiah 6:5, KJV]. That knowledge of self and awareness of a sin nature makes God's love and attention that much more mind-boggling. Often, I find myself wondering why He cares--especially at those times when I know I am falling short. It's those times when everyone and everything else seems to demand and get way more attention than the One Who deserves all of it. Those are the times of my greatest conviction.
I can't begin to tell you how great of a Provider He has been to me. Or how often He has been a Nurturer, Sustainer, Keeper and Friend. He has filled more gaps and breaches than I can count--just in these last few years. I really have come to know the sufficiency of His grace until He brought me into a large place. How can I be so forgetful?
The truth is, that's human nature. When we get comfortable, we forget. It's just like any relationship--the happier we are, the less attention we apply to the the relationship. We don't need to work so hard when things are going well. It's the hard times that keep us praying and fasting, but when things get better, we bask in the goodness and relax. I know that really isn't the time to get lazy.
Mountaintops, just like valleys don't last forever--this isn't doomsday talk. It's just real life talk in a fallen world. It's the mercy of God to make us aware before the bottom falls out, so we can begin to seek His face while still on the mountain and not plunged deep into the depths of the valley where it's hard to see and feel Him.
I love this place I'm in, but while I'm here, I'm going to utilize the time well. I will let His Word penetrate the secret places of my heart, renew my mind and arm me for the fight ahead. As long as I am in this world, in this body, there's a war going on and I can't afford to get too comfortable.
"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour..." [1 Peter 5:8].